Progress Update #1

OK. As I said in my very first post, this is blog is about my journey on becoming a better author and writer.  And I'm sharing what has made me a better writer.  Since my last Update, my very first blog, my improvement has been:

1. My dialogue writing has improved (I think).  By using the patterns observed in several books, my dialogue seems more nature and flows more with the action of the scene.  Again, why buy a book on dialogue when I can study and learn from the books I'm reading.
2. I've laid out some scenes in a murder mystery I'm writing.  More on this later.
3. I improved my typing skills which will be enable me to work more efficiently.  I trying to type the "right" way.  Right now I'm actually typing slower than before, but my speed and accuracy have been improving.  My goal is 65+ words per minute.

Another Writing Tip

In my first article I mentioned 2 tips for becoming a better fiction writer: writing something every day and reading.

Another fiction writing tip is to learn how to type.  No doubt, you are using a computer to write your stories; therefore, I highly recommend that you learn how to type.  I'm not talking about simply just using a keyboard--we can all do that.  I'm talking about old fashioned and proper typing skills. If you haven't learned how to type properly, then you are probably typing about 20 to 30 words per minute.  If you learn how to type correctly, you can easily get up to 65 words per minute.  Not only will you save time but you will be able to record your ideas faster.

If you handwrite, then one idea to speed up your writing is to learn shorthand.  If you don't want to learn shorthand but still handwrite, then I recommend using a few shorthand abbreviations for commonly used words.


Links:
Good Typing Tutor
An OK Typing Tutor
Gregg Shorthand

Learning From J. K. Rowling Books - Part 3

Let’s continue with Chapter 1 of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" by J. K. Rowling.  Again, We’re looking for the Elements and patterns.

I’m going to move forward in the chapter.  After Mr. Dursley’s encounter with the cat, he goes to work seeing people dressed strangely,  misses the owls flying by, overhears people say the word “the Potters,” is called a “Muggle,” and goes home and watches the news.

Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er -- Petunia, dear -- you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?"

The setting is the Dursley house in the living room.  Mr. Dursley’s emotional state is set by his Action-- clearing the throat.

As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.

Her emotional state is Described. 

"No," she said sharply. "Why?"

Now her emotional sate is show by Action, actually a reaction to his words.

"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."

Note that Mr. Dursley mumbles as a reaction to her “sharp” words.

"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.

"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her crowd."

More reactions, and the reader now has to wonder what is “her crowd.” 

Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son -- he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"

Up until now, the dialogue has been just the dialogue and the emotional actions and reactions of Mr. and Mrs Dursley. Now we have a “break” of action (sipping tea) and the inner thoughts of Mr. Dursley. 

"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.

"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"

"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."

"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."

He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.

The dialogue scene ends and the story continues with action.

FInal comments:

Note how this scene is not just he said / she said.  J. K. Rowling includes the emotional action and reaction, the action (sipping tea), and the internal thoughts of the characters.  

I have stated before to imagine your story as if were set on a stage.  J. K. Rowling sets the stage as the living room, some authors might describe the room.  Now, are the actors moving around, if so you can describe it. Here, they are having tea, not a highly action based activity. Therefore, the Large action is drinking tea, which is mentioned.  Smaller actions could be sipping tea (included), stirring tea, lift cups, etc.  Sprinkle the action into the dialogue. Now, are the actors mad, excited, bored, afraid, etc?  An author needs to convey this.  And instead of just saying Mr. Dursley is fearful to talk to his wife, we see him clearing his throat, mumbling, and with holding information.  For Mr. Dursley, she is stated (via Telling) to be angry, and we see it in her actions. 

Learning From J. K. Rowling Books - Part 2

Let’s continue with Chapter 1 of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" by J. K. Rowling.  We’re looking for the Elements and patterns:

“When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.”

J. K. Rowling starts a new scene (an Element).  She starts with the setting: a dull, gray, and cloudy Tuesday.  She again hints at the mystery (“mysterious things”).  She then moves the plot along with action.  Note the strong action verbs: hummed, gossiped, and wrestled. 

“None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.”

The mystery continues with action.

“At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley good-bye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls. "Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.”

Again, moving the plot along with action.  Note how J. K. Rowing is not Telling us about the Dursleys (e.g., Dudley is spoiled, etc.), but we are learning it through there actions.

“It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar -- a cat reading a map. For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen -- then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive -- no, looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs. Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.”

J. K. Rowling has told us that mysterious and strange things were coming.  The owl may not have grabbed your attention, but the cat reading the map sure is.  A good lesson to be learn from this paragraph is action and reaction  (Again note some of the strong action verbs: jerked, blinked, starred, shake).  Mr. Dursley sees the cat with a map, (Cat puts the map away) he looks again and sees no map, he stares at the cat, it stares back, he drove away, the cat is looking at the street sign.

Also notice that this action and reaction was interrupted twice by Mr. Dursley’s internal thoughts.  Writing all action can is boring so it it spiced with (character) description.

Learning From J. K. Rowling Books - Part 1

Now that we’ve covered the Elements (i.e., Showing and Telling about Characters, Setting, and Plot by Description, Action, and Dialogue), let’s finally move on to examining books by J. K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer.

Read Chapter 1 of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" by J. K. Rowling.  Don’t read it like leisure reading.  Try to identify the Elements and how they are arranged.  Look for patterns.  Below is the book text with my comments.  

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.”

J. K. Rowling starts of by Telling us about 2 characters (Mr and Mrs. Dursley) and the setting (Privet Drive).  In fact, these first 3 paragraphs or so are like a narrator voice introducing us to the story.  If you are writing about a mystery, then its good to introduce it as soon as possible.  In the second sentence, he already have a hint at the Plot that something “strange or mysterious” will happen. So in the first paragraph, we have something about the Characters, Setting, and Plot.

“Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.”

Telling and Showing (through Description) about characters, the Mr and Mrs. Dursley.  Note that J. K. Rowling does not give us an exact photographic description of the two.  She instead focuses on their contrasting necks to Describe their personality.

We also have our first pattern: Tell-Describe.  Here we tell about something or someone with a general statement and then describe it in more detail.  It could be called the “General-Specific” pattern.

"The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be. The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that."

Note the Tell-Describe pattern.  The Dursleys have a secret and the rest of the paragraph is Telling us about the Potters, the Dursley secret. 

Looking for Patterns

I like to find patterns, and I believe that we will find patterns when we look at how to write dialogue, action, and description from the various authors.  The same will go for introducing characters, writing an action scene, etc.  I’m not saying that writing fiction is simply painting by the numbers.

Once again, I return to my comparison to music for writing fiction.  When you learn a musical instrument, you learn basic technique (playing and reading music).  Do you go straight to writing your own music? No.  You’ll spend time imitating various musicians by playing in their style and their music.  Writing is similar: let’s break down various authors into the Elements and practice writing in their style.  In the end, our own writing will be sum total of all we have learned (i.e., borrowing from others) and our own unique style.

Below are basic sentence patterns.  It’s a good review.   

Sentence Patterns

1. Simple:

A simple sentence is an independent clause (i.e., contains a subject and a verb) that expresses a single complete thought.

A. Jack went up the hill.

1. Jack and Jill went up the hill.  

     (note: simple sentence with compound subject)

1. Jack goes up the hill everyday and sleeps two hours.  

      (note: simple sentence with compound verb)

2. Compound:

A compound sentence is two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, so, yet, etc.).

A. Jack went up the hill, and Jill went down the hill.

B. Jack went up the hill, so Jill went shopping.

C. Jack went down the hill, but Jill did not.

3. Complex:

A complex sentence is an independent clause joined by one or more dependent clauses.  A complex sentence always has a subordinator such as because, since, after, although, etc.

A. When Jack went up the hill, Jill went down the hill.

B. Jill went shopping after Jack went up the hill.

C. Although Jack went down the hill, Jill went up the hill

4. Compound-Complex:

A compound-complex sentence is two independent clauses joined by one or more dependent clauses.

A. Jack went up the hill, and Jill went shopping after Jack finally arrived.

B. Jill went down the hill because she was tired, but Jack followed her after he had fetched a pail of water

C. The pail of water that Jack had fetched waited at the bottom of the hill, yet Jill continued to shop.  

Other Patterns:

* Using a semi-colon. Join two short simple sentences having closely related ideas.

Jack’s pail was old; it was time for Jill to buy a new one.

Jack married Jill; he never liked running up the hill alone.

 * Using a colon.  The colon in the below construction signals that explanatory or clarifying independent clause follows the preceding general independent clause.

Jack pail was old: it contained several small holes and rust.

Jill failed to climb the hill: the rain had made the slope too slippery.

 * Using a Dash.  A Dash can denote a sudden change in though (“What the boss said was correct -- or so we thought”), or denote a sudden break in a sentence (“Should I let the fighting continue or should -- many lives depended on my answer”), or used in the place or parentheses.

 * Using a Parentheses. Parentheses are generally used to set off incidental or clarifying information.

Jill yawned (without covering her mouth) because she was tired.

Jack went past three trees (two oak and one pine) as he ran up the hill.

A Few Comments on Description, Action, and Dialogue

Description:

Too little description makes the story vague, and too much description can bore the reader.  You want to be specific, but not too specific.  For example, in describing a character you don’t want to create a photographic image for the reader.

Most writers tend to focus on the visual description, so make sure to include the other senses.  For example, if a character was eating pizza, then you might include the smell or taste.  You don’t need to use all five sense, that’s overkill.  One to three senses is enough.  Also avoid the over use of cliches.

Action:

I’m not taking about writing an “Action” scene.  I’m talking about what the characters do.  For without action, the characters would just sit or stand around doing nothing. Action moves the plot along!

The key to action is an active voice with strong action verbs (e.g., gripped, chopped, cut, swung, etc.).  So instead of writing Jack drove across, write that he stomped on the accelerator and weaved through traffic.

Dialogue:

The key to good dialogue is making it sound natural.  Each speaker has a style of speaking.  Some have a limited vocabulary while others have a large vocabulary.  Some  talk a lot and some are verbose.  Some swear or like to use the same expressions.

Further, natural conversation is not grammatically correct.  People speak in sentence fragments, get interrupted, etc.

The Mixing Bowl:

Fiction is never large blocks of pure Description, pure Action, and pure Dialogue (though we may be able to find some isolated good examples).  Most fiction is a mixing of these elements.  You’ll find action packed scenes with dialogue and description, and you’ll often find dialogue intensive scenes peppered with action and description.

Element # 8 - The Scene

The fundamental writing block of fiction is the Scene. A scene is either a single action or a series of connected actions occurring in the same setting.

Scene components:

1. The Setup (Setting)
2. Characters
3. Props
4. Conflict
5. The “Actions”: Large, small, and reactions (from other character's actions)
6. Dialogue 
7. Climax
8. Exit

Let’s sketch a scene where two characters, Jack and Jill, who are having an argument:

The Setup: In the car, as Jill drops of Jack at his new job.  It’s early morning and cold outside with a light rain.

The Characters: Jack and Jill

The Props: Jack’s cell phone.  Jill's purse.

Conflict: A fight over money showing their strained relationship and Jack attempt at manipulating Jill.

The Actions:  

Large: The large action would be the drive in the car.  

Small:  Smaller actions will be Jill hitting the wipers, Jack and Jill using the heat controls, and Jack answering a cell call.  Reactions: The reactions will be verbal and emotional tension from the argument plus Jack slamming the car door when he gets out.

Dialogue: This scene will be mostly dialogue.  The fight will start over using the heater control and move to “control” over money were Jack tries to be in "control." (A layer of symbolism)

Climax: Jack loses this battle over the "money."  As he exits the car he plots how to gain "control".

Exit: Jack exits the car into the cold, and slams the door.  Jill drives off, turning up the heat.  

  

I like to sketch each scene as if it were to be set on a stage for a play.  I can see who’s on stage, the stage scenery, what props are on stage or with each person, how the characters move around, what they say, and how the scene ends. By thinking through each scene before you write, it makes the writing process much easier.

Tips:

1. Slower scenes are normally used to develop characters
2. A typical pattern is fast scene, slow scene, fast scene, etc.
3. Place a slow scene, to lower the reader’s expectations, before a dramatic scene.

Useful Links

Writing the Perfect Scene

Setting the Scene in Writing

Elements #5, #6, and #7 of Writing Fiction -- Description, Action, Dialogue

So writing fiction boils down to Showing and Telling our Characters, Setting, and Plot.  So HOW does a person do this?  The methods used to do this are Description (Elements #5), Action (Element #6), and Dialogue (Element #7).

I would like to repeat my examples from “Showing vs Telling”:

Example #1 -- Showing:

Jack grabbed Jill’s hand.  Her soft, pale hand slipped a bit from his grip as they started there march up the waist-high grass hill which overlooked Jill’s parents house.   

Comments:

Here action (“grabbed,” “slipped,” and “march”) and description (“soft, pale” and “waist-high”) are used to Show Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Example #2 -- Showing:

“Hey, babe” Jerry said as he walked into the Bob’s Diner and took his usual seat near the window.

“Hey Jack,” said Jill. She took out her ordering pad and pen. “What can I get for you?”

“I'm hungry, but broke.  Can you buy me lunch?”

“Jack, I’m working two jobs just to save enough for school.”

With an overly sad face Jack said, “There’s nothing to eat in my parent’s house. How about putting it on my tab?”

“Bob told you last week that he’ll let you have a tab once you get a steady job.”

“Well, tell him to...”

“Jack! Be quiet.  I need this job.”  The order bell sounded from the kitchen. “If you’re not ordering something then you’ll have to go.”

Jack stood up and straightened his jacket.  With defeated voice he said, “I guess I’ll have to leave.  I love you.” 

Comments:

Here dialogue is mainly used to Jack status and relationship with Jill. However, it is peppered with action (Jack walking into the diner, Jill getting out her pad and pen, the order bell sounding, and Jack standing up to leave) and description (Jack’s overly sad face).

Elements #2, #3, and #4 of Writing Fiction -- Characters, Setting, and Plot

Element #1 of Fiction writing is “Showing vs. Telling.”  This is not to say that Telling is bad, but that only a smaller portion of good fiction is Telling while the majority of good fiction is Showing.  So what does a writer “Show?”  The answer is Elements #2, #3, and #4: Characters, Setting, and Plot.

Right now, I’m not going to discuss how to develop good characters, setting, or a plot.  I’ll discuss it in a future blog.  Here are some helpful links, though:

Element #2--Characters:

Character Link 1

Character Link 2

Element #3--Setting:

Setting Link 1

Elements #4--Plot:

Plot Link 1

Plot Link 2

Instead, I will examine how characters, setting, and plot are developed in  "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" by J. K. Rowling and "Twilight" by Stephenie Mayer.  I chose these two novels because the characters (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Belle, Edward, etc.), settings (Hogwarts, Forks, etc.), and plots are known to most readers and writers.  I urge you to dig out your copies of these books because very soon they will be our textbook.

Elements #1 of Writing Fiction -- Showing vs. Telling

Before I jump into the works of J. K. Rowling and Stephenie Meyer, I need to cover same basics.  I need to review the "Elements of Writing Fiction".


I took a serious step towards writing when I was serving as a juror on an attempted murder trail.  It took four weeks to find the young male defendant guilty of a botched gang murder.  During a lunch break near the beginning of the trail, I walked several blocks to the main library and found a book called “The Weekend Novelist” by Robert Ray.  I read it twice, the second time takes notes.  His book has helped me beter understand the elements in fiction writing: scene building, action, dialogue, plotting, etc.  I highly recommend reading it.

Element #1: Showing vs. Telling

Example #1 -- Telling:

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Example #1 -- Showing:

Jack grabbed Jill’s hand.  Her soft, pale hand slipped a bit from his grip as they started there march up the waist-high grass hill which overlooked Jill’s parents house.    

Example #2 -- Telling:

Jack is 21. He has not held a job since high school and still lives at home with his parents.  Jill, his girlfriend, works hard as a waitress at a local restaurant and is a sophomore at a local community college.  Jack doesn’t want to lose Jill and is a third rate manipulator.  

Example #2 -- Showing:

“Hey, babe” Jerry said as he walked into the Bob’s Diner and took his usual seat near the window.

“Hey Jack,” said Jill. She took out her ordering pad and pen. “What can I get for you?”

“I'm hungry, but broke.  Can you buy me lunch?”

“Jack, I’m working two jobs just to save enough for school.”

With an overly sad face Jack said, “There’s nothing to eat in my parent’s house. How about putting it on my tab?”

“Bob told you last week that he’ll let you have a tab once you get a steady job.”

“Well, tell him to...”

“Jack! Be quiet.  I need this job.”  The order bell sounded from the kitchen. “If you’re not ordering something then you’ll have to go.”

Jack stood up and straightened his jacket.  With defeated voice he said, “I guess I’ll have to leave.  I love you.”  

Fiction is word pictures, and most writers have heard “show don’t tell” or something similar.  The reason to show the reader is to engage them, to appeal to their emotions and their senses.  In fact, the best way to “show” instead of tell is to incorporate the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch.  Another help is to pretend that your explaining the story to a person from a different country, culture, etc. who does not understand.

My Discovery

Please join me on my journey on becoming a better author and writer.

Ok. Like you I would like to write a good novel, but I’ll I’ve manage to do is to write some lackluster material.  I’ve bought books on writing a novel, writing a mystery, developing plots, making believable characters, etc.  All these books improved my understanding of writing fiction, but none of them really showed me how to write fiction well and my work continued to be ho-hum.

That’s when it occurred to me: I don’t need to buy another book or attend some expensive workshop on the subject. I could learn from the “master” authors themselves by studying and emulating their work.  Therefore, if I wanted to write like Stephenie Meyer or J.K. Rowling or whoever, then I needed to study and follow the examples of their work.   

Tips:

1. Write something EVERYDAY.

If you play a musical instrument, then you know that you can’t improve without practice--even professional musicians practice.  Therefore, if you want to be an author, then you need to write.

1. Read

Read for pleasure. Read to study or examine the works of others. Once again, musicians listen to music for pleasure, to hear what’s new, and to study or examine the works of other musicians.